Boomer-ang!, 08/05/05

The near-inevitable flight back to the nest usually occurs when new college grads, needing time to land a good job and become independent, move back home until they can get on their feet. Iconoculture.com, offering its latest trend observation, reports on the growing instances of Baby Boomers moving back home with their Mature parents, often following divorce or loss.

The report says that a “shaky economy” is taking the well-known “sandwich generation” and placing them back at home, in a reverse trend in which 40 and 50 year-olds are going home to Mom and Pop. In our society, Iconoculture maintains, it is tough for parents, even parents of adults, to say no to their kids. Furthermore, financial planners have reported what the site calls an “uptick” in the number of Matures requesting help from financial advisors as to how to best prepare for their returning Boomers.

“Families are coming together more often now to discuss financial planning. Older Baby Boomers bring in their parents,” Greg Womack, CFP and author of the book Wisdom and Wealth: Painting Your Financial Portrait tells demo dirt.

“Baby Boomers who live with their parents may have lived away, somewhere like California, for instance, and now they want to spend quality time with their parents while they still can,” says the Edmond, OK-based investment advisor.

Womack advises families to carefully consider all possible consequences of putting together joint bank accounts or putting homes in a joint tenancy, a common practice. Future complications could arise, such as when the child remarries or gets sued, he warns. “If someone gets sued,” Womack says, “their parents’ home could be subject to garnishment.”

To provide Matures with security, it is best that children be made trustees or co-trustees of an estate, Womack says, “to benefit the parents as long as they live.”

Just how often do Boomers go back to live at home? New York-based Debbie Mandel, M.A, stress management specialist and author, says that she has observed this changing family dynamic firsthand. “Yes, there have been many Boomers divorcing, some of them are amicable, some of them just say, ‘I’m bored to tears, enough of this.’ It happens a lot after a wedding—a son or daughter will get married, and then the couple will say, ‘Okay, we’ve had enough,’ and get the divorce. They no longer need to stay together for the kids.”

“In some cases, Boomers go to live with their parents following the death of a spouse,” Mandel adds. “They go back to live with the seniors and they love it because they need that comfort, that cocoon, and to be loved unconditionally.”

“Elderly parents like having their kids back home because they like having a caregiver. Also, some Boomers may have some guilt, because they were rebellious in their youth, and now they have an opportunity to reconnect and bridge lapses in their relationship,” Mandel, author of Changing Habits: The Caregivers’ Total Workout, explains.

Because they are now adults, Boomers and their parents enjoy a different dynamic than parents of a Generation Yer returning home after college. “Now you have two mature adults, not a kid. They just need to negotiate boundaries,” saya Mandel, who is a radio show host and conducts motivational speaking seminars on various topics, including relationships.

Mandel says that about a quarter of her Boomer clients have moved in with their Mature parents. “I could have a group of about 70 at a time, and I would say close to 25 percent have moved in with their parents either following a divorce or death, or for altruistic reasons, like to provide caregiving,” she says.

The number of Boomer divorces may wane with the current state of the economy, Mandel speculates. “A lot of couples live together in what I call a ‘non-divorce’ state, in which if they could have sold their house, or if they had more money, they would have split,” she explains. It will be interesting to see how the divorce rate affects this new trend in the near future.

For more information on Debbie Mandel go to www.turnonyourinnerlight.com. Mandel’s forthcoming book, Addicted to Stress, is coming out this September.