With my wedding coming up this March, I have been trolling wedding websites in search of gown ideas for months, frequently in the middle of the night, with no light to illuminate the darkened room save that of television’s Bridezillas (oh, how I love those rerun marathons!) and the light of my laptop. Feeling slightly guilty because my fiancé hates Bridezillas and I should be working on a story instead, sitting in the dark, the television volume low, I sometimes feel as if I am engaging in some bizarre wedding porn addiction.

 

Luckily, the wedding site obsession has been fruitful, as I have found beautiful ideas for both my gown design and inspiration for my work as a writer. Recently, I came across a bridal blog bemoaning the strapless gown. Whether some brides don’t want to spend all night tugging at the top, fearing one wrong move will put on a free show, (making for a ruined wedding video and dying the death of a thousand YouTube hits), or they just don’t have the will or the time for the bridal boot camp that precedes the daunting strapless, many are hoping to find other alternatives.

 

One blogging bride-to-be suggested the add-a-sleeve option at David’s Bridal, which is great, if you’re buying your gown there. Another bride happily suggested a site for gowns marketed towards members of the famously modest Church of Latter Day Saints (LDS), with fellow brides responding that many of the dresses are really quite pretty, and expressing relief at this "new" discovery (being that none themselves were of LDS faith). Finally, yet another bride suggested that Eliza magazine, a new publication touting modesty both in dress and behavior, could offer an avenue for ordering modest gowns. Incidentally, Funky Frum, a website catering to the fashion needs of Orthodox Jewish women, endorses Eliza magazine, reportedly run by a member of the LDS church, as a sister of fashion virtue. I guess we really are all the same under three-quarter length blouses and calf-length skirts.

 

Anyone who has been to a wedding (or five) in the past year or two will note that strapless has truly been the bridal path most taken. And many, like my friends Jenn and Ilana, who looked gorgeous in their strapless gowns, are the reason the trend became so popular. But a few showings of Bridezillas will demonstrate that, as one viewer on the show’s site wrote, “Strapless is a privilege, not a right.” Even at that, there are so many stylish, flattering above-the-cleavage ways to wear a gown, with interesting sleeve and neckline options, from halter to off-the-shoulder to spaghetti straps, to beaded or lace cap sleeves, to the classic, elegant three-quarter length, and so much more.

 

At my first consultation with my gown designer, she confided to me that she had overheard two guys on the street chatting about recent weddings they had attended. One of them announced, “If I have to see one more strapless dress…” as his friend nodded, agreeing, "I know, what's going on with that?"

 

Even my fiancé initially thought I would simply wear a strapless gown, not only because he thought I would look pretty in it (I love that man), but he basically considered it my only option, as that was all he knew. However, after many imposed hours spent at the altar of my stack of bridal magazines (including a perusal through The Knot's special 900+ gown edition, while trapped on an airplane with me...did I mention that I love that man?), he saw there are indeed other sexy, feminine options.

 

At my latest consultation, my designer and I discussed the issue of modesty, and I told her about Eliza magazine and the imminent trend of more threads, less skin. Just as an image of Britney Spears' embarrassing MTV Video Music Awards appearance flashed in my mind, my fashionista guru declared, “Really, there is nowhere to go next but naked. Look at Britney Spears. I mean, where else could fashion go but towards modesty?”

 

We lamented the disappearance of the notion that just a little skin could excite, that men may have become immune to over-exposed skin, and I mentioned that in days long gone a well-turned ankle or shapely calf sent men drooling. She nodded, citing the sexiness of a pretty collarbone and décolletage.

The bridal biz is not the only place I have been observing this return to modesty. Just last month, CNN reported the trend on fashion runways, also citing the near-naked Spears as an inspiration for the new collections’ reserved, ultra-feminine fashions. The AP report, cleverly titled “Modesty is returning to fashion runways,” (September 12, 2007), covering New York Fashion Week, announced, "Spears' look is yesterday's news…Gone are the skin-centric, tummy-revealing and possibly private part-exposing trends that Spears and friends like Paris Hilton made ubiquitous…designers are embracing modesty...It's an extension of the ladylike trends for fall; designers seem to have made the collective decision that a lot of skin isn't in.”

With ladylike dress, hopefully ladylike behavior will follow. It’s hard to flash a camera in a calf-length skirt.